That list on meeting girls you wasted an entire page on was entirely off-base. The guy who wrote it is obviously an amateur. Take it from a couple of old pros.

(promise: based on genuine happenings)

Have you ever taken a girl home and found two others waiting at your door?

Have you had sex in a club with a girl you just met, while your girlfriend is on the dance floor?

Have you ever had so much sex in a single day that you ask your roomma}e to take over?

Have you ever stuck your tongue down a strange girl’s throat before ever saying a word?

Have you had sex with three or more girls in a single 24-hour period?

Have you ever picked up a one-night stand on the night tram?

Do you answer your doorbell if you’re with your girlfriend and not expecting company?

Do you see at least one girl you’ve slept with every time you enter Chapeau Rouge?

Have you slepped with more than seven girls who could not speak a word of English?

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Do you currently have more than two mistresses?

Have you ever slepped with a girl only to find out afterwards that she’s underage?

Do you loiter outside your local gymnasium when school lets out?

Have you ever picked-up a girl while she was waiting at the horse statue for her boyfriend?

Have you ever had to have quickie sex because your next date is in 30 minutes?

Do you schedule 2:00am dates?

Are two “5s” as good as a “10?”

Have you insisted on sex only from behind so that your girlfriend won’t find any marks?

Have you ever told your girlfriend “they’re from a cat that slid down my back?”

Have you ever refused a blow-job from your girlfriend because you were afraid she’d see someone else’s bite marks?

Do you even have a general idea of how many girls you’ve slept with this year?

Do you compete with friends to see who can take home a girl fastest?

If a girl doesn’t sleep with you by the second date, do you bother calling her again?

Has a girl ever asked, after sex, “By the way, what’s your name?”

After sex, do you fake business meetings to get her out your door?

If a girl leaves something at your flat, do you simply throw it in the trash?

Do they know you by name at the VD clinic?

There is no scoring… you know what you are!


Matthew, Tim & Glen

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